Adios 2013

Just a quick note to wish you all a safe & wonderful New Year’s Eve. Exciting things on the Fat Momma horizon. Thank you a for reading & commenting, its been an interesting year.

‘Til next year
XOXO
Fat Momma

Diary of a Fat Momma: NASTY MOUTHED B*TCH

Ahh such terms of endearment. Should I be ecstatic or angered by this? I mean its hard work maintaining my b*tch moniker…

Should I thank the monster in law for my new name? Yep that’s right, dear old mommy in law dearest called me that. In print, via text, to Fat Daddy.

Let me explain

Yesterday Little Man had an appointment with a specialist. We were going to run some errands afterward but I got a text from Fat Daddy, who was at work, telling me the MIL wanted our table, chair & chili pot gone from her house. I wasn’t sure if the bith the table & chair would fit in my truck,but I begrudgingly told him I’d go get them.
I had a springy thing (soo technical I know) go out  on my truck’s hatch. I have a Yukon and the door is heavy heavy. I loaded the table & chair, by myself, thank you very much and asked if there was anything else (like the big bowl of yummy delicious guacamole I made for Christmas Eve). MIL said no & shut the door. I shut my hatch, which slams, and Little Man & I drove off. Well she immediately texted Fat Daddy & said I was such a b*tch with a nasty mouth. Ummm excuse me? I hardly said anything to her.

Fat Daddy actually grew some balls & stood up for me for a change. He sent her a text that brought up lots of pent up issues (like how she’s a whore & we don’t like Little Man around her when she’s covered in hickies) all true things.

So that leaves me wondering if I should be happy or pissed at what she said.

I sooo wanted to text her & say boy MIL, you thought I was a b*tch before, just you wait. But I didn’t…

Diary of a Fat Momma: POST CHRISTMAS LETDOWN?

All the gifts have been unwrapped. Stockings cleaned out. Smiles had and hugs given. Christmas 2013 is in the books and I couldn’t be happier.

Please don’t get me wrong; I’m not a scrooge. There’s nothing better than the look on Little Man’s face when he’s unwrapping his presents or the twinkle in his eye when he thinks about Santa. I just never got the Christmas spirit this year.

Between all the running around, the daily chores and work, there seemed to be no down time.

When I was a kid, the Christmas season was magical. The air was different, the smells were different and time stood still. My parent’s house was filled with laughter, anticipation, Christmas cards and lights. Glorious twinkling lights that cast a soft glow on everything: bushes, windows and anything else my Father put them on. And the snow. Oh how the snow glowed on top of those Christmas lights. Some of my fondest Christmas memories involve snow (funny coming from a gal who hates the snow).

But living in the desert you don’t get the reminder that its Christmas time. Hard to when its nearly 80º the week before Christmas. The warm western winds blowing, sandals covering feet and the lack of jackets are what you see.

Would I have had more Christmas spirit if I was back in Wisconsin? Not sure. What I do know for sure is I would have been able to see my family. Spend Christmas with them. Christmas is all about family. Family I haven’t spent Christmas with in 4 years.

I’m contemplating taking the tree and everything else down today. Too soon?

I sincerely hope each and everyone of you had a joyous Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

Diary of a Fat Momma: WHO ATE ALL THESE COOKIES?

Sugar cut-outs
Chocolate chip
Chocolate covered cherry cookies
Peanut butter kiss cookies
Chocolate covered pretzels
Peppermint bark
Whiskey caramels

And Fat Momma made them all.

And Fat Momma might eat them all.

They’re calling my name. Taunting me.

And I’m not usually a sugar monster. I crave salty snacks. So why do I want all of these damn treats? Ugh.

How do you all deal with visions of cookies dancing in your heads? Ignore? Give in. Run? Drink copious amounts of alcohol?

Fat Momma is asking for help faithful readers. I’m worried my pants are gonna get tight! Again…

Diary of a Fat Momma: BANNED

Do any of you Facebook? Do you belong to fan pages? Like TV shows, sports teams, etc. Well, like most peeps, I do the Facebook & follow my favorite teams, actors, celebrities & the like. I tend to speak my mind & on Friday, I got banned from a sports team fan page.

The football team page posted how excited they were for a certain player who was returning to the game this week after being hurt. I love this team, have since I was a little girl, but HATE this specific player. So I commented. And the moderator/admin didn’t like it.

I didn’t use foul language, just stated my opinion. I got a message back that regretted to Inform me that I was banned & that fan page & I are not a good fit.

Made me laugh. Still is making me laugh. But it got me thinking:is Facebook, Twitter, etc only created gor this happy, happy utopia? God forbid someone disagree with a post or a comment. God forbid you dislike something or in my case state your opinion.

Have any of you been banned or kicked off a page? Would you like to see a Fat Momma page? Maybe we should start a “misfits” page…oh the joyous fun THAT could be 🙂

Diary of a Fat Momma: FORGOTTEN?

I just wanted a hug from my husband yesterday. A hug to show me he cared. Or that he remembered. But instead I got the silent/ignored treatment because mommy was around.

Yesterday was the 3 year “anniversary” of the passing of my dad. It still hurts and I still miss him. A lot.

I wanted to stay home from work yesterday & be alone but it was my work holiday party & Little Man’s school holiday program. One of my dear friends knew what day it was and did give me a hug and listened to me babble & cry but I wanted this from my husband.

We had pizza with my monster-in-law and she came with us to the school program (where I had to sit in back of my own damn vehicle). Because the MIL was along I was invisible. Unfortunately I’m used to that.

The program was wonderful & I did cry a bit (a little emotional) but thankfully it was dark. We dropped the MIL off & headed home. It was late so Little Man got ready for bed.

Still no hug. Instead he started playing on his phone. So I went to bed.

Was it too much to ask for a hug from him? Am I being unreasonable? It hurt a lot to feel forgotten by him.

Today is a new day. Forget & move on I guess.

Diary of a Fat Momma: WEIGHT A SECOND…IS THAT RIGHT?

Well I did it. I was nervous. Anxious. A little scared actually, but it had to be done. I stood on the scale.

I have been avoiding this menacing thing for a few weeks now. I have not been eating right. I haven’t been following portion control or anything remotely like I was. I’ve been gobbling bread, tortillas, etc etc for a few weeks. Ate pie at Thanksgiving. Ate potatoes. Ate apples. Ate things my body hasn’t had for a long time.

So this morning I decided enough was enough. It was time to face the music.

I knew I gained: I was just nervous about how much.

5 pounds? 10? More?

I closed my eyes and stepped on.

I stood there with my eyes closed too long and the digital read out went blank. UGH. I stepped off and this time didn’t close my eyes.

The number that popped up wasn’t bad – not bad at all. I hadn’t gained anything since my last weigh in a few weeks ago.

Huh? This couldn’t be. So I got off and stepped on again. Same number. Same result.

I put the scale back in its corner. I was pleasantly surprised with the number but then my brain immediately went to the “gee Fat Momma, if you only had…” and “well see lazy bones, the number could be a lot less if only…”

Why do we do this to ourselves? Wish I could just slap the sh*t outta myself sometimes. I haven’t been following my eating plan. I haven’t been writing things down and controlling portions. I am actually okay with the number on the scale yet I’m beating myself up about it and bringing myself down.

I think I need a time-out on a beach with my toes in the sand and the cool ocean breeze blowing against my sunburned skin (I’m Irish and have tons of freckles, I burn even with sunscreen). But seriously, I hate the way my brain works sometimes.

Things could be worse – I could have gained. Or broken the scale. Now there’s a mood booster!

This is a new week – make it shine peeps. Do what makes you happy (gee, maybe I should listen to my own words of wisdom!).

Only a few more days of shopping left –if anyone wants to help me out, let me know. Santa’s list still has a few things that need to be got. And of course wrapped…

I think I’ll grab a cookie with my coffee and get back to work

Diary of a Fat Momma: EXHAUSTAPATED

EXHAUSTAPATED – n. Exhausted beyond belief and to the point where you don’t give a sh*t about anything…except sleep and an adult beverage. OR two or three…

Happy Post Turkey Day weekend Monday…aka Cyber Monday. Is there any day of the week that’s not given a cool name? Taco Tuesday. Hump Day. Thirsty Thursday…etc etc.

Anywho, I am alive. I survived Thanksgiving and my Monster-in-Law’s cooking. Might have been the copious amount of wine & pumpkin pie martini’s I consumed, but alas, I’m upright.

We put the Christmas shtuff up in the Fat Household – downsized a little this year. Didn’t think anyone would mind that few ornaments weren’t out but I think I was asked a hundred times, “Momma, where’s this one? Momma, where’s that one? Honey, why isn’t this ornament out?” UGH. They’ll live and next year it will be even more magical because we didn’t have them out this year. See what I’m doing there?! Ha ha ha

I also started on my gift baskets I make for the fam-damily. I make homemade spa and bath items; my “company” is called Time For You Products. I hear they’re great – I just don’t get the time to indulge in a hot soaking bath…oh well. Maybe some day, right?!

I also did some canning this weekend. Yes, I can. I love it. I made apple butter (sooo not low carb) and some pickled green beans. Yum yum. The apple butter will be for Christmas gifts and the beans, thanks to a dear friend, will be for eating.

So how did everyone do post-Thanksgiving? I didn’t step on the scale. Decided I didn’t really want to know. My clothes still fit and button so I’m okay. This is a new week.

Did anyone find any fantastico deals on Black Friday? I didn’t participate. Not too into fighting for a $4 waffle iron. Nothing against those who do, just not for me. I’m more of your Cyber Monday shopper. No crowds. At my own pace. And not having to search for a parking spot is AWESOME.

Here’s to a good week my readers!