If you’re an avid reader it’s obvious that I like to make things and “create” as I call it. I’d love to be able to work for myself by selling my creations…maybe in my next life (after I become a star comedienne).

As I’m anxiously awaiting the eviction surgery for Herman, I really have been trying to eat better and incorporating the low carb lifestyle again. I’m such a sucker for crusty yummy bread but I have been behaving myself…some.

With that being said, I’ve been limiting my normal morning bagel and swapping for healthy low-to-no carb choices. Eggs are great but re-heating at work gets old and with the price skyrocketing (time to buy chickens – F you HOA) not the most economical. I do eat steel cut oatmeal one day per week (I know not low carb but its good for me). So last night as I was planning my meals for today I saw a can of chickpeas.


I’ve made homemade hummus before…twice actually and it came out great once. But what’s that saying, fall off the horse, get back on?!

Now I’m not the biggest fan of tahini paste or sesame oil so my hummus is probably not what a purest would like. I use chickpeas, good olive oil, fresh grated garlic, lemon juice, salt, white pepper and a smidgen of hot sauce.

I threw it all in my blender (the food processor would have been better but I’m too short to reach it and I couldn’t find the step ladder). The party blended for about 2ish minutes and I drizzled in more oil until I liked the consistency. I put it all in a container and put it in the fridge.


This morning when I opened the container it looked PERFECT. Thick but not too thick and the flavors played well together.

I cut up a cucumber and grabbed a few (last of the box actually) rye chips and was on my way.
As a chronic over-eater, I actually eat less if I’m grazing. So this is perfect for my desk. Grab, munch, take a break and repeat. My next attempt (since I’m certain the key to homemade hummus success is letting it sit) is spicy black bean hummus with sweet peppers to dip.

Other than using as a dip, do any of you eat hummus a different way? Can you put it on a sandwich? Mix it with something? Just curious.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday…oh wait, it’s Wednesday! Whoo Hoo!!


Brussels Sprouts…just the word can conjure up hideous memories if you are not a fan. I for one have developed an adult love of these baby cabbages and to my surprise, Fat Daddy and Little Man enjoy them too.

My normal “go to” recipe for these tiny balls of deliciousness is roasting with olive oil, sea salt, garlic and bacon. Then drizzling a balsamic reduction at the end. Tasty but a bit time consuming. I also enjoy them steamed with some vinegar added (Fat Daddy & Little Man opt for cheese sauce instead of the vinegar).

I got thinking I’d like to eat more of these sprouts but both of the ways mentioned above are not very “work place – lunch friendly”. How else could I eat them.

Commence light bulb going off – add them to a salad.

It took me a bit to find the right lettuce/vegetable/dressing combination but when I did: KABAMO-ZINGA it was good.


dressed salad bsprouts

Behold the brussels sprout/kale, radicchio/iceberg/green onion/fresh grated parm cheese and cruton salad dressed with a lemon Dijon vinaigrette .

Crunchy? Check

Peppery? Check

sweet and tangy? Check

Delicious? Double Check

For this particular feast I added some cooked chicken. I think shrimp or even beef would be good in this too. I semi-shredded the chicken and it was great texturally.

I did not cook the sprouts; just took off some outer leaves and cut them removing any woody areas. For the dressing, I took fresh lemon juice, a good Dijon mustard, some salt, some pepper and whisked it together with my white wine vinegar. I think apple cider vinegar would be good too. I want to try this using white balsamic! Now you don’t have to add the cheese or crutons obviously and to be honest I don’t think I’ll add the crutons next time.

Do you like eating brussels sprouts? Have you tried them lately?

Would love to hear how you enjoy these foreign friends.

Happy (Healthy) Eating





I had this great foodie-like post all ready for y’all but something happened yesterday that made me change my mind.

I saw a surgeon for my monstrous hernia (AKA Herman). The surgeon told me it is one of the largest hernias he has ever seen and worked on. He told me that he’s going to have to cut me from below my belly button up to under my breast bone (oh the joyous fun I’m going to have). But what he said after explaining the surgery was like a light going off.

“Fat Momma, I’m going to be blunt because I don’t like my patients to have false hope. Because of your weight, I’m guaranteeing you that I’ll be doing this surgery again in a few years”.

Now my weight isn’t what caused Herman. It was from my hysterectomy last year and my weakened abdominal wall. Not to mention since Fat Daddy has been laid up (staph staph go away, come back never!) I’ve had to do a lot more than what I should be doing. Nonetheless, being told that I’m extremely fat and the hernia will reappear woke me up.

I like this doctor. I really do. He’s an older man with a good sense of humor and real. What he said wasn’t to bash me being fat. It was an honest assessment: lose weight or I’ll be seeing him again..soon.

I HAVE gained weight since Herman has taken up residence. I’m in pain. I hurt all the time. I’m tired. I’m ornery. But I can’t let Herman be my crutch anymore. I HAVE to get back on track. I HAVE to loose weight. Not because I’m ashamed of what the doctor said (um, I can look in the mirror and see how big I am) but because I have an 8 year old at home. An 8 year old who needs me.

I lost my dad at a young age from heart disease. My mom has had a quadruple bi-pass from heart disease. Both paternal grandparents lost and my maternal grandfather lost to heart disease.

I want to do everything I can to ensure I’m around for Little Man for many many many years to come.

I know I can do this, but I need your virtual help. I need to be reminded on the hard “poor me” days that I CAN DO THIS and WHY I’m doing this.

I need cheerleaders. I need supporters.

My surgery isn’t scheduled yet but my doctor wants it to happen soon so Herman doesn’t get any bigger. I want to take baby steps up to surgery date then once I get the green light after recovering, I’m going to take off running (or fastly walking in my case).

Will you join Fat Momma’s fluffy gang and help a girl out?



Okay, okay, okay…I might be a few hundred thousand short of a million cucumbers, but I did have over 21 pounds of them!


A woman I know was selling 20+ pound bags of cucumbers for…wait for it…$5! Yep, you read that correct. 20 pounds of cucumbers for only FIVE DOLLARS.

How could I turn that down?!

As soon as she contacted me about the cucumbers, I knew pickle making was in my (very) near future.

Now, I haven’t met a pickle I didn’t like. I love the tangy/sour ones that hurt the inside of your cheek. I love the cold, crisp, crunchy ones. I like sweet. I like little, I like chips and spears and dill and spicy ones. I just like pickles.

However, Fat Daddy and Little Man prefer the Bread & Butter style. I called up my mom, got her trusty recipe and began creating.

I made 12 pints of bread & butter style pickles and three of them I added a serrano pepper to make them have a little kick!

I also made 5 quarts and 2 pints of kosher dill. And I decided to try something a little new with the dill variety: I added carrot chips. I’ve had pickled carrots before so I’m anxious to see how they turn out!

I had all my pickles made (brine made, jars sanitized and jars processed) before 10am yesterday. I was tired but in the end the result is so incredibly worth it.

Pickles 5.2015



Now if only I could find a way to earn a living by canning.

Have a great day!


Grief Changes Shape But Never Ends

I still deeply mourn the death of my father. He was taken at age 57 from a heart attack. I had so much more I wanted to talk to him about and share with him and experience with him. December will mark the 5 year “anniversary” of his death and each year, while it’s gotten a bit easier on that day, it’s still hard and emotional.

Friday, April 24th would have been his 62nd birthday and I remembered him in the best way I knew how: eating pizza and ice cream – two of his favorites.

I’m quite certain Fat Daddy had no idea why I pushed to go out for pizza and Ice cream Friday night (I do like both but honestly if I had a choice, it’d be tacos and cheesecake. Every day. EVERY DAY. Hence the “Fat” part on my moniker). After we ordered and waited for the delicious tribute pie to arrive, I asked Little Man if he knew whose birthday it would have been today. He didn’t know so I told him it would have been Bompa’s birthday. A big smile appeared on his face and his eyes teared up a bit. For an 8 year old boy, my son has an “old soul” and loves deeply. He may have been only 3 when my dad died but he had a bond with my dad unlike any other that I have ever seen.

Our pizza was delivered to our table and before I took my first bite I silently wished my beloved dad a happy birthday. Oh how I wish I could have called him up and said those words. Or better yet, hugged him while saying them to him.

We enjoyed our pizza and delicious ice cream and I know my dad was smiling down at us while he was celebrating his day with my grandmother playing poker or cribbage.

Happy birthday in heaven, Dad. You’re loved and missed greatly

Bday pizza

Lightly Dressed

…And no, I’m not talking about what I’m wearing in this hot Phoenix weather. I’m taking about this beauty:

Broc salad

My newest obsession: Broccoli slaw with a lime-honey vinaigrette.


Super easy. Super nutritious. What more could I want (oh that’s an open ended question that I won’t get into here).

So I love crunch. Crunchy munchy things. Some people love sweets, etc. Nope, not me. GIVE ME CRUNCH: chips, crackers, popcorn, corn nuts (that’s another blog all in itself). You get the picture. I do try to eat light at lunch because I make a bigger dinner for Fat Daddy and Little Man and we eat early (think retirement home dinner time). I like bringing salads and sometimes adding left over chicken or steak and adding tangy cheese to awaken my taste buds.

But I was getting bored with the normal salad. I tried changing it up and adding extra veggies or extras like bacon and crutons or nuts.

Still got bored so I started poking around the interwebs…

I came across a recipe for broccoli slaw. Now, I do love a good cole slaw (I use my dad’s famous recipe) but eating a heavily sauced slaw isn’t always what I crave. Then a beautifully bright light bulb went off:

Vinaigrette. Dress it in a vinaigrette. I could hear the angels singing.

So I experimented. One was horrible. One was mediocre. One was AMAZING with the taste and texture of the broccoli slaw. For those who aren’t familiar with broccoli slaw, it’s a combination of shredded broccoli stalks, carrots and I added red cabbage. I’ve had some with onions and that would be tasty too.

You can buy pre-made broccoli slaw in the produce department but I made a gallon freezer bag full for under $2.00 (in my grocery store, the pre-made stuff was $3.99 and it was a 16 ounce bag).

My vinaigrette of choice is a tangy but sweet and balances the rough, crunchy texture of the broccoli and the delicateness of the cabbage. Its’ so good. GO MAKE THIS.

I wish I could give you the “recipe” for my vinaigrette but it’s all to taste. I can tell you for 2 bowls of slaw, I used the juice of 1 large lime and probably 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar (the GOOD stuff. The real stuff) and about a tablespoon of honey. Again, to taste and I could be way off on the measurements. This lightly dressed the vegetables and didn’t leave too much at the bottom of the bowl. I added pepper and viola – a lunch made in crunchy heaven.




I’ve been canning food for about 3o years (gasp). I’ve made ketchup, jams, jellies, pickles, icky canned meats, fruits, salsa, and a plethora of other goodies (and some not so good). However, I have never made homemade mustard.

Until now.

In my canning bible (aka Ball’s Canning Blue Book) I found the section on homemade mustards quite interesting. The recipe that stood out like none other was the Oktoberfest Beer mustard (umm, beer you say???). I was immediately ready to create.

The ingredients were simple:

startingrest of ingredients

Mustard seeds, beer, sugar, water, vinegar, onion and garlic powders. Easy peasy. Or so I thought. Finding the mustard seeds was a bit cumbersome. I called and searched and was just about to order from Amazon when I called one of the health food stores (or as Fat Daddy calls it, the Hippy Store) and low and behold, they had my seeds.

Let the creating adventure begin!

The process wasn’t hard but it was time consuming. You need to let the seeds sit in the delicious beer for about 2ish hours. I got the seeds soaking then ran an errand and did some laundry -who said Fat Momma can’t multitask?


After soaking blend the seeds and add to a large sauce pan and cook away with the other ingredients. I tasted along the way and decided to add a bit of salt to bring out the flavors a bit more.blendedcooked product

After my creation was done I canned in a normal water bath for 15 minutes.

Finished mustard

The mustard is a bit pungent with a hint of spicy undertones. I’m sure its because I used Guinness. I already have plans to use a berry weiss and a cherry wheat. I think maybe using a sweeter beer would be more useful. I’ve had my mustard on a good ol’ Wisconsin bratwurst and on a turkey Sammy and it was delicious (disclaimer: I love mustard. Yellow, Dijon, horseradish, deli, etc etc. But this batch does take a special liking. I honestly do like it but using Guinness may not be for everyone).

How I wish I could find a cash tree and just can and create kitchen goodies for my full-time job. It’s so rewarding and relaxing for me. I love giving my homemade goodies away; makes me so damn happy to see people enjoying my creations.

Have a great weekend everyone – I’m off to buy more beer for research. Yeah, research!

Fat Momma Cooks: Chewy, salty deliciousness. WARNING – NOT LOW CARB

I’ve been in a cooking/creating mood lately. Last week it was the tomatoes (my salsa is ¼ gone already. I have a slight addiction to the stuff), so this week I thought I’d try to make something I have never made before: Soft Pretzels.

I love soft pretzels dipped in yellow mustard or spicy mustard. Cheese is good too (let’s face it: Everything is great with cheese {or bacon…mmmm, bacon}). But as the price of groceries continues to rise, I’m trying to find simple yet delicious recipes to make my own homemade treats.

I read about 4 different recipes and while they mostly were the same, the one I picked was from a trusted source: Alton Brown from Food Network kitchens. I love Alton Brown. He’s never let me down on a recipe before so I was eager to try his soft pretzels.

I gathered my ingredients and my helper (Little Man) and began to create.

While the entire process was quite simple, it was rather time consuming – letting the dough rest and rise, rolling the pretzels out, but the end result is delicious. It was fun making them; their shape isn’t perfect but so so tasty, so who cares what they look like!

My next pretzel making adventure I’m going to try some sweet and savory flavors, as I stuck to the traditional salt this time. I’m thinking cinnamon sugar, Italian flavored, and maybe a spicy one next time around.



If you’re interested in making some for yourself, here’s the recipe I used:

Tomatoes: Glorious, delicious and juicy tomatoes.

Their smell was intoxicating. Their taste was extraordinary. I was in love. In love with these beautifully imperfect tomatoes.

I was so excited to pick up my flat of heirloom tomatoes the other day but when I got to the pickup site and saw these beauties, I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were the most amazing tomatoes that I had ever seen.


My brain immediately went into “canning” mode to decide what I could make. I wanted to showcase these specialty tomatoes. Their taste, texture and color were something I didn’t want to hide in a pasta sauce. I had made a couple different tomato jams in the past and knew I needed a special recipe to showcase these guys.

I bugged my mom for a few days and obtained a copy of her sweet tomato jam. The one I remember as a kiddo. Eating it on a cold, snowy, blustery day immediately transported you to summer and hot, muggy days and fireflies and soft grass beneath your feet.

I also found an heirloom tomato salsa that used minimal ingredients to highlight the tomato themselves. And last but not least, from my science pal at Food Network, I printed off Alton Brown’s tomato infused vodka (If I could have found a recipe for tomato beer, I sure would have done that)!

I gathered all my ingredients and began creating. My kitchen was a mess. My clothes were spotted with tomatoes. My hands smelled of Earth. My stove and canner got a workout but the end results were impressive if I do say so myself.

Canned goods

I had about 28 pounds of tomatoes. I got 6 pints of salsa, 3 jars of sweet tomato jam and a 750ml bottle of vodka steeping. I even had enough to eat (and because I’m such a nice person – share). I foresee many caprese salads, BLT’s and tomato slices in my lunching future.

If anyone is interested in any of the recipes, shoot me a line. I’d be happy to share!


And I just can’t hide it… (ear worm, I know lol)

I ordered 20 pounds of heirloom tomatoes to can!!

I can see some of you rolling your eyes and even showing a little bit of a smirk – But I don’t care! FAT MOMMA LOVES CANNING!

I’ve never worked solely with heirloom tomatoes but have eaten them and fell in love at first bite. The price per pound can be exorbitant so getting 20 pounds for $20 is a steal.

I have so much I want to do with them: Salsa, tomato jam, tomato infused vodka. A beautiful tomato, basil and mozzarella salad. YUMMY!

I pick these beauties up tomorrow evening and I want to call into work so I can stay in my kitchen and create my delicious masterpieces. And then eat them!

I already have a couple other blog ideas in the works from my canning adventures with these amazing tomatoes.

Hope you find something that makes you uber excited that you just can’t hide it.

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Dr. Seuss