Well hello there you damn good looking readers. Sorry for my absence as of late. I’ve assumed my new position at work, and let me just tell you something: I DON’T LIKE IT.
I bite my tongue so much throughout the day that I can’t believe I have anything left. Grr. There’s one person on my new “team” who talks to me regularly (and not for the lack of trying). So I sit in my corner of the world quiet and observing the strangeness that is my new position.
I’m in the same building as before – heck the same floor – but things are so different over here. It’s like I started an entirely new job with a different company.
Below are some of my observations in the 4 weeks since I’ve been shuffled to this new area.
- People eat the craziest (and smelliest) things.
I don’t know many of these people per se but great lord of all that is good and powerful they eat food that smells like shit gone bad! One day a lady was eating something that smelled like rancid fish. I couldn’t help but to say something, so I asked what is that smell! She responded with, “Fish Cheeks”. Ummmm….excuse me? Fish Cheeks? I don’t care what they are they STINK. Another day someone else was eating something that to me smelled like canned moist dog food. I wear headphones to block out the stupid conversations – maybe I should wear nose plugs too
- Lawd – People dress like hookers over on “this side”
I’m a big, ungraceful girl. A klutz actually. I have managed to trip when wearing “flats” so I sometimes get a little envious when I see girls wearing nice heels. But there’s a fine line between “nice” and “hooker-like”. Even if I could wear 4+” heels, I really don’t think they are work appropriate. Match those up with tight leopard print leggings and a tight – no imagination needed- top and you got a girl who has a second job…
I see lots of “women” dressed like this over here and I sit and wonder how that ensemble is okay but my little kitten-heel “flip flops” are not
- Cologne/perfume/Body sprays are not a alternative to bathing
So kinda along the lines of #1, in addition to the smelly foods people consume over on “this side” there are several individuals who might not have running water and soap at home. Instead, they bathe in cologne/perfume, etc. I sit near one lady who obviously thinks the more she pours on the perfume the less we can smell the cigarette smoke (now, before I get chastised for talking ill about smokers – I’m not. Fat Daddy smokes). NEWSFLASH lady – the more perfume you put on actually makes the smoke smell even worse and more pungent. Ugh.
- Last but not least – PEOPLE ARE JUST RUDE/MEAN
I was in my new position for two full days before anyone stopped to say “Hi”. I’ve been here 4 weeks and unless I’m being asked to do more and more and more or fix “X, Y, Z” issue, there’s one person who talks to me daily. This team truly reminds me of the high school cliques. It was annoying then and now that I’m pushing the big 4-0, its’ even MORE annoying. The one lady that I do talk to is super nice and funny. However, one of the “Mean girls” stopped by my office and told me I shouldn’t talk to “her” because she’s a backstabber (in the three days before being transitioned to this team, I did my homework on a few of the peeps so I knew what to expect – the “Mean Girl” was definitely one I obtained Intel on). I looked at MG and said, “clearly she’s not the only one”. Needless to say, MG hasn’t talked to me since…ha ha ha
I want to go back to my “normal” area – but I know that’s not going to happen. So, I have to grin and bear it here. I’ll keep to myself – keep my amazing sarcastic/snarky comments to myself because they’ll be lost on most of the peeps here – and I’ll continue to smell my hand sanitizer – not to “huff” but so I don’t have to smell warmed up vomit encased in cheap ass perfume.
I’m accepting donations for a portable air purification system to put on my desk. You can send donations to: FAT MOMMA – SAVE HER NOSE – Cube World – Phoenix, AZ 85029